ok, so enough with the drama.
i didn’t stop blogging, i don’t think that will happen anyway (not in the near future at least.)
i relocated. wanna follow me to my new palace…
click the link to visit MY NEW KINGDOM!!!
P.S. to everyone who linked me up, kindly update your blogrolls. thanks! and i’ll see you all there! no more ad-infested site for me! LOL
this post is for the sole purpose of killing this blog. yep, you read it right. it had been a fun whirlwind two year love affair, but i’ve had enough of it. although you are nothing but a scheme of my own design, a figment of my imagination i gave you my own time. i treated you as a friend, a companion, and a lifetime partner. you have introduced me to a lot of beautiful souls and for that i am more than thankful. as the sand go beyond your hourglass, i can’t help but be saddened. i’ve been through hell, bliss and back with you. but i have to move on, with the rest of the world. goodbye, and this song so aptly express the feelings.
Take a bow, the night is over
This masquerade is getting older
Lights are low, the curtains down
There’s no one here
[There's no one here, there's no one in the crowd]
Say your lines but do you feel them
Do you mean what you say when there’s no one around [no one around]
Watching you, watching me, one lonely star
[One lonely star you don't know who you are]
Chorus:
I’ve always been in love with you [always with you]
I guess you’ve always known it’s true [you know it's true]
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye
Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye
Make them laugh, it comes so easy
When you get to the part
Where you’re breaking my heart [breaking my heart]
Hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown
[Just make 'em smile the whole world loves a clown]
Wish you well, I cannot stay
You deserve an award for the role that you played [role that you played]
No more masquerade, you’re one lonely star
[One lonely star and you don't know who you are]
(chorus, repeat)
Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye
All the world is a stage [world is a stage]
And everyone has their part [has their part]
But how was I to know which way the story’d go
How was I to know you’d break
[You'd break, you'd break, you'd break]
You’d break my heart
I’ve always been in love with you
[I've always been in love with you]
Guess you’ve always known
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye
Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye
Say good-bye
the future scares me. i can’t put it more clearly than that.
it’s because of the uncertainty and the endless possibilities of it all. in quantum physics, there’s a theory called Schroedinger’s cat. in a nut shell, it was an experiment where a cat was put inside a box. there’s also a cylinder of poison waiting to be released inside the same box. the theory is that at the moment before the poison is released, the cat is neither dead nor alive. it’s in a state of suspension, a state of infinite possibilites. when the poison enters the box, all the possibilities come crashing down and resulting in a dead cat.
i am reminded of this theory when i think about endless possibilities. when you consider philosophical ideas such as induction and causation, it’s easy to be reminded that nothing is set in stone, that even the idea of cause and effect can be put into analysis. i am bothered by the fact that if i miss one single exam question, it will result into a B+ rather than an A, or 74 instead of 75, resulting in a failed board examination, resulting in me entering a different field altogether. nothing is the result of a single event, it flows like a snowball rolling down a mountain or a ripple becoming a tidal wave. the chaos theory, more specifically the butterfly effect, theorizes that a flap of a butterfly’s wings could very well cause a hurricane on the other side of the world.
to say the honest truth, six years ago, i thought my future was mapped out for me: graduate from med school in six years, having been lucky to grab hold of a spot in one of dlsu’s honors program– human biology, wherein students are to take two years of premed in the main campus & four years medicine proper in the health campus, acquire an internship at the most coveted training hospitals, be a resident surgeon, and then finally specialize in plastic surgery. turns out, things don’t work that way and life is complicated just like that.
lately, i’ve been thinking about what i want to do with my life. half a decade ago, i was sure it would be acting in either stage or film. i would eventually outgrow that lifestyle choice, not that it’s not a noble profession, because it is. it’s more of the fact that i don’t think it’s for me. at least, not anymore. at this exact moment, there’s only three choices i can honestly see for me. the longshot choice, or more accurately, the dream choice, is becoming a world renowned cosmetic surgeon. flying to and from my clinic in new york/miami and paris, and fly to manila on the side. i could see myself doing that, yeah right, in my dreams, but whatever, dreamers go places at least even in their minds. the other two professions would be to become an educator, and the preferable choice, to become a nurse anesthetist.
the possibilites for myself do not end at these three professions. i am both excited and terrified of the simple fact that five years from now, i could be married, i could have a kid, i could still be single, for all i know, i could even be dead. there’s also a good possibility i will no longer want the same things. it is said that the price of getting what you want is getting what once you wanted. i am a firm believer of that sentiment speaking about man’s tendency for being tunnel-visioned, of not seeing the consequences down the road. right now, my wants are based on simple pleasures and grand adventures, wary of the fact that my college life is about to end for me, this time, for keeps.
it is said that the only constant thing in the world is change. to some extent, i agree to that. three years ago, i would not have imagined myself to be the person i am now. back then, i was eternally optimistic and unwaveringly idealistic plus i never even wanted to be a nurse. today, like most philosophy students who’ve let the subject matter take over too much, i’ve found myself bothered by the notions of moral relativism and such matters as utilitarianism and existentialism. it is ironic that i graft myself as an existentialist yet harbor notions of a maligned demon fabricating a world in which only i exist and the fact that months from now, i’ll be taking my oath as a full-pledged registered nurse.
the future is approaching, steadily and unwavering. it is as certain as the sunrise and the sunset. i am not the person i was before, that much is sure. but i am who i am. i am ready to take the next step in my life. the first twenty-one years of my life have taught me harsh lessons, embarrassments i wish to forget and shames that have scarred me. but for that, i am a better person, ready to face tomorrow, knowing that i am ready to conquer it all.
so i say, bring it on. bring it all on.
meme, meme and more meme!
okay, so this post is narcissistic and unoriginal, it’s something i got from mei and maan. just like them i am confused about the rules, so do not blame yourself if you can’t get it outright.
ok, here it is:
THE RULES: If you comment on this post, I will…
1. Respond with something random about you.
2. Challenge you to try something.
3. Pick a color that I associate with you.
4. Tell you something I like about you.
5. Tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. Tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. Ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you.
8. Pick a song that reminds me of you.
You then must post the same meme and my response in your blog
————————————————————-
FROM MEI
1. Random. I thought you were an actress the first time i saw you sa mansiyon. hehe. **I’m flattered!**
2. Challenge. um-hum… why don’t you join us in one of our medical missions? you wanna do that right? we have one next month, aug. 25 =D
**I hope I can, but my sched’s pretty tight these days.**
3. Color. lilac =) sweet and light.
4. Like. That you seem so easy to get along with, kahit na parang celebrity and aura mo, hahaha, may ganun. your beauty and brains,. =)
**thanks, you know what they say… “never question compliments! say thank you and continue fishing for more..” haha**
5. First/clearest memory. when i checked out your friendster profile after seeing you in the mansion, i thought, huh? who’s this ate nao brought to the mansion? celebrity yata ito! level-up na talaga ang kaluskos! hahaha!
**haha, sheepish grin, you made me blush!**
6. Animal. peacock. colorful, beautiful, elegant.
7. Question. If there is one thing that you would like to be remembered by after you leave this earth, what would that be? (pam-beauty pageant!) =D
**a legacy I can live behind, simple lang, that a single soul breathed easier because I lived…and I quote “To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition..”-Ralph Waldo Emerson**
8. Song. I’m Every Woman…
**we are!**
————————————————————-
FROM MAAN
1. Random – I just recently met her but I feel so close to her already.
**same here!**
2. Challenge – take a picture of your favourite pair shoes and post it in your blog
**got this from my mom… simple & classy,
but more often than not, im in the most comfortable flip flops!
that’s more like me.
3. Color – pink – pink for me is simple, cute and pretty.
**aw.. like me! ;-p**
4. Like – she is very sweet (on-line pa lang yan…e ano kaya pag na-meet ko na siya in person?)
**that’s a nice thing to say, considering more people would label me as a snob on first sight**
5. First/clearest memory- I like her name and when she posted in kaluskos, I just thought if she has a longer name.
**actually I have a second name: Jamie Christi… all my siblings have a JC initial, first after JC – Jesus Christ, and then after the first letters of my dad and my mom’s names (J for jose and C for Corazon) – thank god we’re not named like that in this generation**
6. Animal- cat – her eyes (hehehe)
**meows sexily!**
7. Question – Studying or working? Where?
**graduating nursing student from phcm! it’s my second course actually, i initially intended to become a doctor, my pre med course— b.s. human biology fr dlsu**
8. Song – The Blue Danube (She will look wonderful waltzing swiftly on this tune…with her prince charming when he comes!
**wow, i feel like a true blue princess imagining that.. funny, that song reminds me of the 3d electric fan commercial back in the days..**
————————————————————-
another one… this time from nao
FIRST NAME? jamie
WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? my mom used to tell me this silly story about my dad naming me after reading it from a stripper’s bikini! jeeezzz.. haha (but it might be true, i guess, i’ll never really know.) 
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? sometimes
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH? soup, soup, soup & more soup
IF YOU’RE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD U BE FRIENDS W/ YOU? of course!
DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? yes, you’re looking at it!
DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? oh my golly, if once every hour is considered a lot, i guess so
DO U STILL HAVE TONSILS? what in the world… yeah i decided to keep it, despite recurring tonsillitis through childhood
DO U WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO U? what for? haha
WHAT COLOR OF PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? (do you really need to know…) no pants, no shoes.. au naturel haha
FAVORITE DRINK? water baby water
HUGS OR KISSES? both & at the same time 
FAVORITE SPORT? i would like it to be nao’s favourite someday, but as of now… swimming, kickboxing and dancing (if it’s considered as such)
WHAT’S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? seriously… i can do perfect undulating movements, 
play the drums like a maniac, 
impersonate people, stay under water for 3 or so minutes, 
i can write rocking yearbook write-ups (in fact, i think i should consider getting a job like that), hmm.. the gift of gab?
YOUR EYE COLOR? brown
HAT SIZE? huh?
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? frosties
DO U THINK YOU’RE STRONG? like lift a car strong, hell yeah, even super ex-girlfriend kinda strong haha
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? macadamia nut ice cream from haagen dazs
SHOE SIZE? 6 ½ (same same!)
RED OR PINK? “OR” haha
WHAT’S THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT URSELF? i tend to be too preoccupied with what others think of me… that most of the time i turn into a neurotic freak who ends up to be anything but me.
WHO DO U MISS THE MOST? nanay (my lola)
LAST THING YOU ATE? all seafood shabu-shabu (yum!)
WHAT SOUNDS YOURE HEARING RIGHT NOW? the sound of silence
IF YOURE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD U BE? baby blue
FAVORITE SMELL? from a guy – curve; ladies – my signature scent 
DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? of course aywab nao, such a beautiful person!
FAVORITE FOOD? five cheese pizza with tomato, anything japanese, italian, greek,.. shux basta food, to make my life easier 
LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? miami vice
WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?amm… didn’t I tell you earlier, i’m in my birthday suit! haha
SUMMER OR WINTER? summer
FAVORITE DESSERT? strawberry shortcake from bizu, original sin from café Breton, macadamia nut ice cream from haagen dazs, chocolate chip paradise pie from chili’s, fondue! (*orgasmic sigh!*)
WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? a lot of nursing books, in preparation for the boards!
WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? i did not watch tv last night
THE FURTHEST YOU’VE BEEN FROM HOME? from manila to the states and back! from hell to bliss and back again
WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? october 27, st. lukes medical center
WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? nao the great! (shockers i just can’t say no to you!)
i was out last night having a much needed chillax session with my friends. and as i sat at the bar, i found myself slowly detaching from the scene and watching with keen observance at the night passing before me. a thought, which i couldn’t quite bring to a conclusion yet, was swirling through my head. the people of this town seem to be on a perpetual fashion show. beautiful faces, gorgeous figures. was there a scientific revolution i’ve never heard of that helped ensure all the 20 and 30-somethings of today to look like they should be strutting their stuff in milan? then there are the laptops, gucci bags, armani shoes, PhP20,000++ facials, PhP7,000++ hair treatment, PhP1000++ spa treatments, nail spas and thousands of pesos worth of gym membership.
after people watching, the conversation revolved on the possible uniformity that is evident in the working population of today. assuming that majority of the bar-hopping population are all working professionals, this question surfaced the conversation; what do these beautiful people have in common that have brought them to where they are in their careers and lifestyles? a guy argued that this is the rule: if you ain’t beautiful, you ain’t going anywhere. bullshit. then i stumbled upon an online article this morning that confirmed his stand with research, thus making it credible bullshit.
and i quote: "The ugly truth, according to economics professor Daniel Hamermesh of the University of Texas and Jeff Biddle of Michigan State University, is that plain people earn 5 to 10 percent less than people of average looks, who in turn earn 3 to 8 percent less than those deemed good-looking."
it’s never comforting to be proven wrong. but with regard to the hypothesis at hand, it isn’t comforting to be proven right, either.
..:: 
mood inspired by hoku’s perfect day ::..
JACK IS BACK! can you imagine jack dawson surviving after titanic? could it be a sequel to a classic? let’s just say he did, can you imagine him, the king of the world living in a whole new world and worse, in the future? surfing the net for the love of his life rose dewitt bukkater? you know how they say “as one journey ends, another begins…”
TITANIC TWO – THE SURFACE
..:: 
mood inspired by celine dion’s my heart will go on ::..
i’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately, (yes, i am guilty of procrastinating again!) starting from my fellow bloggers, then to their fellow bloggers, until i came across a very interesting blog where i spent most of my time (shame on me!) reading all of its entries. it has none of those i-hate-my-life crap, which i have to admit lowers my energy level. in other words, it eats me up alive. but why get affected? because, i guess, it’s in my nature to easily be absorbed by them.
* no pun intended to those reading this entry now whose lives are nowhere to grand as of the moment.
anyway, those blogs i’ve been blabbering about? i like their life. i like their stories. i like the kind of feeling each gives me every time i read them. they’re very inspiring, that i’m now yearning to have that kind of lifestyle–not grand, not luxurious, not overtly mundane but they seem to be having the time of their lives, doing what they do best—LIVING THE MOMENT and getting most of the fun. that’s the kind of life i want and i’m striving to get… still a long journey ahead. and i’m hoping that these people will never ever get tired of inspiring me… keep blogging guys!
..:: 
mood inspired by barbie almalbis’ just a smile ::..
i confess that i find myself thinking more of you the last few days. it’s strange. i don’t know why. i just do. it started with my dreams. i’ve dreamt of you more than i ever should. and now, i find myself yearning for you… for your voice, your smile, your face and your presence.
no.. this isn’t everything.
i confess that i can’t stop thinking about you. i dreamt of you and i dancing and as i lie half awake, half asleep, i can still feel how strong your grip was on my hips. i dreamt of your lips accidentally brushing onto mine. i dreamt of romance, of adventure. i dreamt that you longed for me.
no.. this still isn’t it.
i confess that i like you, or the fact that i am beginning to. and this liking has no basis whatsoever, i don’t know you, you don’t know me, it’s silly. i think that the dreams are my heart and my soul telling me that maybe (just maybe) it’s because you’re the one. my one. the one i’m meant to spend the rest of eternity with. my soulmate, if such a thing exists.
these are my confessions. and soon, i will make them known to you and to the rest of the world.
soon…
..:: 
mood inspired by usher’s confessions ::..
Ego Tripping I sat on the throne I gazed on the forest and burned For a birthday present when he was three My son noah built new ark and I sowed diamonds in my backyard I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal I mean … I … can fly
I was born in the congo
I walked to the fertile crescent and built
the sphinx
I designed a pyramid so tough that a star
that only glows every one hundred years falls
into the center giving divine perfect light
I am bad
drinking nectar with allah
I got hot and sent an ice age to europe
to cool my thirst
My oldest daughter is nefertiti
the tears from my birth pains
created the nile
I am a beautiful woman
out the sahara desert
with a packet of goat’s meat
and a change of clothes
I crossed it in two hours
I am a gazelle so swift
so swift you can’t catch me
I gave my son hannibal an elephant
He gave me rome for mother’s day
My strength flows ever on
I stood proudly at the helm
as we sailed on a soft summer day
I turned myself into myself and was
jesus
men intone my loving name
All praises All praises
I am the one who would save
My bowels deliver uranium
the filings from my fingernails are
semi-precious jewels
On a trip north
I caught a cold and blew
My nose giving oil to the arab world
I am so hip even my errors are correct
I sailed west to reach east and had to round off
the earth as I went
The hair from my head thinned and gold was laid
across three continents
I cannot be comprehended
except by my permission
like a bird in the sky…
—Nikki Giovanni
..:: 
mood inspired by chaka khan’s i’m every woman ::..
imagine if filipinos start doing it the mexican way…
for the ultimate song experience click here. enjoy =p
